give you all my love
by Floodtail- AKA Floody
Summary: you're young and foolish but you're only human, and she's your morphine- carmilla;laura


_When your tears and your fears come to life/if you reach you will find/all my love and my arms open wide/for you always and everyday -Give You My Love, Adrina Thorpe_

You aren't really all that sure how it happened, but it did nevertheless. 

Maybe it was the little gestures— the brushing of hands against shoulders, the cups of coffee in your blue Tardis mug, her concern when she uttered your name, her shameless flirting— but you fell inexplicably for her.

Tumbled down and the fall is amazing.

You've always considered yourself to be an open minded sort of individual— and you suppose a vampire shouldn't be any different. As LaFountaine says, you shouldn't be_ speciesist. _

She is the light that blossoms in your veins and the fire that lights your life, and she's like a dose of morphine— a thrill you'll never quite get used to, but you're quite okay with that. You've never feared shots. 

You take risks because it's fun and you know Carmilla could potentially be a wound that never heals, but that's a risk you're _so_ willing to take— because love is strange, and it does strange things, and you've been shamelessly captured by her. She could be a scar one day. 

You know this.

But she could also not be, and that's what keeps you loving her.

Your father's always told you that you would love a handsome young man one day— a thought you chuckle at now, dear God— and he might not be okay with what you've _actually _fallen in love with. A dark haired, dangerous, deadly, beautiful vampire with centuries at her back and scars lining her in and out— a girl you love with every fiber of strength you have. 

She slipped into your heart without your consent, and perhaps that is all right with you because she fits perfectly and is what you've been missing the whole time. 

It's been two years you've been together— and maybe you're being a foolish human again, for thinking it's love, but what other emotion could warm your heart, curl your toes, spin your head like this?

She has her days where she's the same girl you found so infuriating at first, has her days where she's moody and snappish. Those times are generally just awful. 

She is always the first to apologize. 

But then there are the days you wake up to a cup of still warm hot chocolate, the blueberry muffins she knows you enjoy so, and a slightly stained note— you can read her scrawl as well as anything now— those little notes you cherish.

Sometimes it's a simple quote, **"**_No matter what has happened, no matter what you've done, no matter what you will do, I will always love you. I swear it," _or, "_I want to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens— I'll always think of you and the time we've had together as my happiest time. I'd do it all over again if I had the choice. No regrets." _

Again, you're reminded of how stupidly, fully in love you are with her.

And there are days you both fight— God only knows you both are stubborn as mules, and arguments turn into fights that last days long. Fights that usually involve her doing "_vampire things, cutie," _and the way she sometimes reverts to the cold, broody, broken being she was before.  
>Those days were awful, those weeks where she was just absolutely convinced she could not love you— you're <em>young<em>. You could,_ can_ have anyone, and she's just honestly disbelieving about how you, sunshine, could love the dark. 

You kiss her fears away.

And maybe she starts to believe you again. 

Sometimes there are those chaste— innocent, even— pecks on the cheek, lips, gestures of affection that leave you just as tongue tied and red faced as they did two years ago. And then there are the long deep ones that turn into nights of whispers and love and hot and heavy memories, and those are the nights she shows you just how much she really does love you.

You, as a human, know you'll be gone one day and she will go on living as she always has— without you. But you're young, and maybe you're foolish, but you can live in the now— with her.


End file.
